The Adventures of Sesu Akashi
by TheCanadian1
Summary: A little story about me, getting sucked into an anime world of my own design, and my misadventurers.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that have been in major anime/manga/video game series. All characters act upon our personal feelings.

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The Adventures of Sesu Akashi

_Chapter 1 - Beginnings_

That day. That fateful, crappy, kinda awesome day. Were I found out there is this abnormally large crimson button on the back of the remote. My parents had recently acquired a brand new DVR, called MeVR. Why it was called MeVR, I will never know. After approximately two months, three days, twelve hours, eight minutes, and thirty-seven seconds; I finally got the chance to use that strangely named, probably cursed MeVR. So, I lied down on the couch all happy, that finally I got the chance to use the new TV. I turned it on, and went instantly to what I thought was OnDemand. Sadly, it was called OffRelent, which made me realize, how much I hate my television.

"DAMN IT! THIS SUCKS REALLY HARD MONKEY–!" I was suddenly stopped by the sound of my parents bursting through the doors. I got up nervously, putting my hand on the back of my head, shrugging slightly. I gave out a nervous chuckle, and they continued walking to their room. Some chatter could be heard about 'boarding school so he can get away from that dreadful Wade!', and then something about making love, but then I ignored the rest of the conversation.

Now that I was on OffRelent, which was ironic all in itself, I go to the Anime Network. A screen on the television popped open. It read; 'Would you like to star in your own adventure, where you can be anything that you wish! If so, click the button on the back of the remote!'.

I was all like "Holy shizznit!" and I just laughed it off. I heard my sister yelling at me from the room on the second floor.

"STOP SWEARING YOU...YOU..." She was at a loss for words. She could not think of a way to insult him without swearing. So she just shut up from there on in.

I just smiled to myself a little, quickly grabbing my phone. It was playing, 'Cartoon Heroes', so I knew that Wade was the one that was calling. I flipped it open quickly, and I decided to try to trick him. I put on a fake Canadian accent, "Halo! You have called the Mounty Maple Syrup Company! What would you like?"

On the other end of the line, there was a pause, with nothing coming out but laughing. "I would like...Eighteen chicken flavor maple syrup bottles, filled a quarter of the way, with bacon dipped inside."

This time I paused. He was good. Very good. I thought quickly and then retaliated, "Gaaaah! You win. You're too good." I laughed a little bit, and then continued the conversation. "So, what did you call for?"

Wade yawned lightly, "Did we have any Chemistry II homework? I don't care anymore. We should hang out tomorrow! Okay, thanks bye!" He quickly hung up without listening to my story about the OffRelent, and the Anime Network; which ironically was spelled 'An' im eNet work'.

I just laugh a little bit at this fact, and then I just turn off the 'OffRelent'. I walked upstairs, grabbing my orange Nintendo SS, which everyone knows stands for SingleScreen. I flipped in 'Nintengirl - Anime Edition'. I just chuckled a little bit, laughing about the OffRelent about the Anime Network. I quickly started to play it, ignoring all the yelling coming from my parents, and the noises coming from my hamster, Ayane(Yes, I am that much of a nerd). I slowly fell asleep–somehow–playing this game. How, I have know idea.

The next morning, after quickly taking a shower and putting on my school uniform. I attended Han'you High School, which translated actually means 'Generic High School'. My friend Wade, whom was mentioned before, found out this information. After a quick school day, which was excruciatingly painful for me to bear, I got home, glaring back at the television. This was it. This time I would see what the button was. As I reached for the television remote, and then my phone rang.

"ALRIGHT! I'M COMING OVER!" A loud, deep, semi-demonic voice bellowed. Some more laughing, exactly like Wade's; just because it was Wade's. A quick beep and dial tone was heard yet again.

Shrugging a bit, grabbing the remote. I turned the television on, peering at the button. This time, it was bigger than the remote. Ironic yet again, it said 'Do not press'. I just laughed, "My life is very ironic now." I went to OffRelent and then on Anime Network. I saw the ad yet again, and a countdown appeared this time. Five seconds. Four seconds. I couldn't choose whether to do it or not, my hands were becoming sweaty. Three seconds. Two seconds. I turned the remote over as quickly as I could and pressed it.

I started to laugh, "Hah! I knew nothing would–Why do I have the sensation of falling?" I looked down, and damn near pissed myself. I growled a little bit as I started to scream. "OH GOD! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MOMMY! OH GOD, I'M AFRAID. I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M S–DAMN IT! DAMN IT! I HATE THIS! IT BURNS!" I covered my eyes, and I turned to face down, unknowingly turning my face to the ground. I opened my eyes at the last second, and felt a crushing feeling at the location of my nose.

I stood up, cracking my now broken nose back into place, and then sighed, "My face-face-face-face! My beautiful sex-ah face!" I just sigh once more, looking around. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was just a blank room and in front of me was some kind of weird door. I sighed and decided to turn it. "I'm a very sigh-y person right now, Especially since I'm angry."

While walking into this room, I noticed that there was only one chair, and some old hag sitting behind the desk. She just sighed a little bit and handed me a paper. "Ninja Name? Appearance? Headband? Kekki Genkai? Jutsus? What the hell is this?!" I looked back up, and this time she was a young attractive woman, with pink hair, short skirt, revealing dress. And sparkly, huge, and bouncy boo–I mean eyes. She just smiled happily, "Just fill out the packet."

After hours and hours and hours and hours of filling in questions, my hand cramping up from what I thought was arthritis. All I heard was something that sounded like my friend Wade singing a song he made, which is just him counting to ten. It drove me INSANE. I stood up, and the woman was back to the old hag. I just sighed a little bit, extremely depressed all of the sudden. I handed it over, "Here you go!" She took it with a nod.

"You may feel another...Falling sensation again," she says. She took out a stamp, and hit me in the head with it.

I just thought for a moment, "What are you talking–I'm falling again aren't I?" I looked down sighing slightly. "THIS SUCKS MONKEY FU–DGE!" I stopped myself from screaming a bad word, as I lightly tapped the ground with my feet. I looked around a little bit, and then I noticed I was near a lake. I looked into it, and I looked completely different. I was muscularly-thin. Short, white and wavy hair. Icy blue eyes. I thought about Naruto, a manga, and I did a few signs that had to deal with water, and I touched the lake. It froze instantly. "Absolute Zero Touch...DAMN SON! THIS IS AMAZINGLY AMAZING WITH AMAZING SPRINKLES AND A SIDE OF CHUCK-NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICK AWESOME, WITH CHEESE ON RYE!" I laughed a little bit. This is how I ended up in this world. This world I call.. Sugoi.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, this has been mentioned before. We do not own any characters from video games, mangas, or animes. The characters in this story act on how we wish them to act. We control everything. We, under a technicality, are GOD!

The Adventures of Sesu Akashi

_Chapter 2 - Cookies_

I was sitting there next to the now frozen lake and was like, "Wow that's kinda cool, literally." Now that I figured out that I was capable of freezing an entire lake or this place has some really weird coincidences. So to prove if it was solid I attempt to leap into it from a nearby tree. But now I have to ponder how do I get up there. I look around for the shortest looking tree that I could jump off of and still look cool. I see it but it stands at a humble 250 feet. 'Wow, this place has some really tall trees.' So, I find the lowest branch; protruding at about 10 feet. I know this is to tall for my 5 foot 4 frame, so I raise my arms and leap as high as I can. I shoot up extremely quickly, which is A LOT faster than I regularly jump. I not only jump through the first branch, but also the second, third, fourth, sixty seventh, five hundred third and many more after that. I slowly drifted to the ground, ironically like a piece of snow, and landed on the 6,010th branch, which was about 237 feet in the air. I slowly inch my way away from the base of the tree, out to the tip of the branch. I sink down and bend my legs, getting ready to jump into the not-at-all frozen lake. This could be amusing, yet disastrous.

Suddenly, I hear a voice. "Hello..." The voice sounded like the chorus of thousand angels, with bells for vocal cords, and had sexy and dangerous hint to the bells, and the bells were on sexy fire, and near the fire, was a sexy couch with sexy ladies on it, having se...cookies! This put me in a state of ecstacy, yet also torment, for not seeing the creator of the voice. I look down, and for some reason she was getting closer and closer.

"Hey...Who are...I'm falling again aren't I?" I looked up, and noticed that I was no longer on the branch, but now in mid-air. I looked back down, and let out a relieving sigh. "I won't hit my face against the ice." I clapped my hands together to pray for not to much pain. Suddenly, my feet clipped the edge of a branch, and I was now falling head first down to the ground. "OH GOD! NOOOOO!" Becoming more aerodynamic, I swiftly fell and smashed my face against the hard ice. I got up, extremely dazed, and walking around like a drunk. "Mommy, why is the ice red?" I collapse onto the ground, off of the frozen lake and feel myself forcibly turned over, so that I was facing up. That's when I first laid eyes on her. "What's your name?" I ask her.

"...Mitsuki Kawa. And yours?"

I wasn't paying attention; at least not to the name. I was observing her immaculate features. Her hair was as blue as the deep depths of the Pacific Ocean. Her eyes, as violet as the end of the rainbow–or to get technical, the electromagnetic spectrum–, with an odd sparkle to it. Her face as pretty and mysterious as the aurora borealis. She had an amazing figure, with perfectly sized, in-your-face, pretty revealed–yet not quite enough to be X-rated, breas...cookies!

"Hello-o! Are you in there, buddy?" She took out a strange little tube-like thing, with intricate markings on it, and began to poke me lightly with it. She seemed to be getting increasingly angry. I, on the other hand, was still kinda groggy, so it was hard for me to notice. But I did notice one thing! Something in her shirt slowly was starting to become erect. Well, more like two things really, in the cookie-area. Two, slightly small things. She then stood up and shivered, and looked down at me. "Do you notice that it's getting colder?"

"Huh?...No, I honestly don't..umm... girl-whose-name-escapes-me."

She looks down, seemingly at me, but actually at her cookies. She looked me directly in the eyes and growled a little bit. She lifted her leg–which was very nice looking–and I looked at her questionably.

"What are you going to do with–OH MY GOD! MY FACE!" I was then stomped on repeatedly, curb-stomped to be exact. "WHY ARE YOU STOMPING MY FACE INTO OBLIVION REPEATEDLY!?"

She pointed to some strange device on her eye. Kinda like a weird lense–like a monocle, just for ladies. A ladicle–or something along those lines. She then began to analyze me. "OVER 9000!...Oh wait, wrong button." She pressed a different button, and then continued stomping me in the face. "Because you have a cold aura that you didn't tell me about, that's why!"

I looked at her strange. Cold aura. What did she mean? I decided very quickly then to find out. "What do you mean, cold aura? How do you know of a cold aura that I didn't know about?"

She laughed a little bit, and then covered herself with her arms. "This AuraLens lets me know if you have an aura or not."

I looked at her strangely, practically forced to believe her. "Wait...Then why did you say 'OVER 9000' before?"

She laughed the way that only she could. You know, with the bells, and such. "Dramatic effect. And that will be my little secret." She then became comfortably-uncomfortably close to my face and gave me a wink. "You'll keep the secret, correct?"

I nodded with a blush across my face, and then a watched her take out that weird metallic tube again. "What's that for?"

She gave an evil smile, and then pressed a button. A strange red light-like saber came out and then she laughed goofily. "Whoops, wrong button...again!" She smiled and then concentrated as hard as she could, making a scythe come out. "Bye bye...have fun! WINTERWAIL!" She then charged it back, and then smacked me as hard as she could with the blunt end of it.

I screamed in pain, "Why?!" as I skidded across the ice.

She let out a laugh. "Why not? Race you to the city!" She then did a few signs again, and thrusted her fists to the ground, causing the ice to go up and launched me towards the city. She then began to jump into the air, higher than I did when I was trying to grab the branch.

The ramp she created shot me straight into the air where she slammed into me not even slowing her down. She laughed a little and let me drop. You see I was never the best ice skater but all of a sudden on the ice I've never felt stronger. I launch myself in the general direction she was and was sent hurtling through the air. She seemed shocked that I was able to catch up with her. I let out a laugh as I soared through the air. I had never felt so free in my life as I did flying through the air. I drop down and leap again and enjoyed the sheer ecstacy of flying. When I begin to descend again I then try to see how fast I could possibly run. I land and then dart across the ice she was barely able to keep up with me. My legs were pumping I was soaring across the ice I leap into the air as we reach a dense forest knowing that landing would cause it difficult to gain height due to the branches and trees.

She lands ahead of me and tells me to stop. "Where did you learn to move like that? I thought I was quick but your phenomenal!"

I just laughed a little bit and gave a bow, "Ninja skills."

She gave a jealous smile and then laughed, "Well then, I guess I have to up the ante. GO!" She quickly took off, and I was left standing there, with my jaw dropped.

Everything went all, Matrix-slow-motion and I growled and grumbled, "Cheater!" I put my hand out lazily, scratching the back of my head, and it hit something that was on my back. I grab what I think is the edge, and pull out this strange, almost black, purple colored katana. I hold it in my hand, examining it and then I hear her coming back. She laughed and then swiped at me. I held it up cautiously and blocked as best as I could–thankfully, I was successful.

She stopped and then looked at me. "Time out! Where the hell did you get that thing?" She pointed to the sword, with a cute questioning look on her face.

I just gave out a laugh and then looked at her. "I have...absolutely...No clue."

She gave out a skeptic scoff, and then quickly fled. I nervously jumped and then followed her. As we were racing, we got near the end of the forest. She was ahead of me, but not for long. I accidentally, yet I think on purpose, kicked as hard as I could off of a branch, and suddenly I was ahead of her, as if I had just warped. I jumped out of the forest, and looked behind me in midair. I looked at her and then smiled, looking down. She had really nice cookies.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: OMG! N00b! Did you not read the first two stories? We do not own anybody, etc!

The Adventures of Sesu Akashi

Chapter 3 – Death of an Angel 

I watched as she landed in front of me as though she were a true angel. This also caused me to wonder how she was able to land before me while I was left floating in the air.

As my shoes deteriorated from my feet, I felt my bare heels skid against the ground. Then, the voice "with the bells and such-yelled out "Do a barrel roll." I complied by turning my entire body and then I noticed that she was directly ahead of me. She attempted to catch me only to fail and causing us to spin out of control.

When we finally stopped, I noticed something strange. Not only were our clothes unusually tattered beyond recognition, but I was in an awkward position on top of her. My hands were placed on top of her perfectly sized breasts. In this strange yet mildly erotic position there was an awkward silence.

The silence seemed to drag on forever as I slowly rose from this position with a bright red blush on my normally very pale white face. She too arose but her face was not red from only embarrassment. I knew this because my face became concave.

As ten minutes passed I felt my face get convex again. I could not look up at her. I just looked at the ground as I opened my mouth to say "Sorry".

Mitsuki's mouth also opened as replied back with a smack to the arm "Wuss. We really need to get new clothing, and I know the perfect store!" She began to walk off and I noticed something yet again. I think I have a knack for noticing things. As she walked off—her hips swaying to the beat of her own drum (or whatever the saying is)—I saw that the backs of her pants were ripped. Right at the spot where I could see her lime green, red striped thong-panties. I chuckled to myself quietly and continued following her, my eyes glued to this spectacle.

Upon arriving in the city, I look around and saw that every man on that block was ogling my companions ripped pants. I growled at them, taking out a kunai with an angering gaze.

"We're here!" She had a very excited look on her face as she ran into the store, grabbing random things spastically.

I stopped and looked up at the store we were in. "…N.A.P?" I laughed lightly and then looked at the small writing under it—causing me to laugh louder. "Ninja Apparel, Please!" I glance around quickly looking at all of the brightly colored clothing and I asked Mitsuki "What's with all of this brightly colored clothing. I thought ninjas where supposed to be all stealthy and such."

She gave me a strange look and replied, "Haven't you ever seen Naruto". I nod quickly. "'Nuff said. Now lets find some proper clothing." I sigh wishing she would just keep the pants she had on.

For a little under an hour I search the store for some kind of interesting yet ninja related apparel. I settle on black pants with dark blue stitching, as well as a black shit with on sleeve having mesh and the other a similar dark blue sleeve.

Once I was finished I called out to her and she told me to meet her on the other side of the store. "So what do you think?" she asks shyly. She was wearing a schoolgirl outfit with a rather short skirt and a semi-tight top.

I was only able to reply with many rapid "hummanas". "I'll take that as a yes she replies. Lets go to the service counter." I look at her strangely wandering why we need service when we already had the clothes.

The saleswoman gave us an almost fake looking look and asked "Would you like anything enchanted". I look at her almost with total surprise.

Mitsuki instantly responded. "His clothes all of them." This gave me a sudden jolt. I would have asked why, if my clothes weren't as quickly stolen from me by Mitsuki, as quickly as I had chosen them. The saleswoman just nodded a little bit and poked them with a strange instrument, and they glowed for a second, then just looked like what I had chosen. "Aaaaaall done!" She smiled and gave them back to me, and I went to the changing room.

Coming out I looked around, and then at Mitsuki. Something was different about her. I looked at her breasts and I noticed that her nipples no longer suffered the effect of what my supposed aura did. The saleswoman came behind me and smiled, jabbing me in the shoulder. "The clothes are enchanted with…well…your aura is now contained into the clothing." I groaned lightly and then laughed, walking over to Mitsuki. "I have a feeling you told her to do this." She nodded and we quickly left the store.

The rest of the day seemed to be somewhat a paradise for both of us. We chilled, got lunch at WacArnolds—I had a Small Mac and she had Porken Tenders. Then we just sat around, eating pocky and reading mangas, such as Silver Soul, Blazing Fire, and Fish-Paste Whirlpool. At night, it was probably the best moments of my life that I could ever possibly encounter, but sadly it has a horrible ending.

"Okay! Let's go!" Mitsuki said with a large smile on her face, with a tux and a dress and hand.

"Please tell me that I'm wearing the tux!" If I had to wear that dress, I would most likely cry and be accused of either cross-dressing or indecent exposure.

She laughed girlishly and then smiled, shoving the tux in my face, "Of course not, retard!" She giggled and started to strip right there to change.

I quickly ran out of the room with a large blush on my face—thankfully landing in the bathroom. I took off my special clothing and then put on my tuxedo. I walk out and saw that she was fully dressed—and she looked even more beautiful than ever.

She put a hand on her hip and smiled, "Let's go!" She grabbed my hand and then pulled me. I wasn't sure of where I was going, but I would follow her to the end of the earth.

We both ended up on a completely empty train, and there was a lone boom box there. She looked up at me with a grin on her face, and clicked it—and it started to play slow dancing music. She grabbed my hand, and cranked up the boom box all the way. She pulled me to the top of the train, and began to slow dance with me.

Right when we started to dance, the train started to move. I lost my footing for just a moment, but then quickly picked myself up. We danced along to the music, and it seemed to last forever. We were taken completely throughout the city while we were dancing. The brilliant lights shone on exactly the right parts of her body.

After circling though the city for the eighth time, we decided that we would get off at whatever point she chose. She smiled and jumped off, and I followed her. We landed and I looked up.

"…What are we doing in front of Kaiba Corp?" I looked at her strangely and she giggled in that girlish way she always did.

She grabbed my hand and we appeared on top of the Kaiba Corp building. She looked at me and smiled, "Because it's the prettiest spot in the entire city." She smiled a little bit and pulled me in close. Her eyes were closed and she smiled. "Do you want…to kiss me?"

I was blushing to the point where my entire body was red, but I nodded lightly. As our lips got closer and closer together, I felt something strange. A sudden….absence of another person. I opened my eyes and saw that Mitsuki was gone, and the nearby door was just shutting. I growled to myself a little bit as I quickly ran to the door, opening before it could lock.

As I was running through the hallways of Kaiba Corp, I couldn't help but notice all the YugixKaiba shonen-ai. I nearly puked in my mouth a little bit until I saw my assailant and Mitsuki turn into a room. I looked at the door and then just growled to myself. "Kaiba…." I 300-kicked the door open and then saw the thing that would ruin my life forever.

I saw Kaiba holding a flintlock pistol pointed at Mitsuki and with a slight chuckle he says, "Now I awaken the true you". He pulls the trigger and a sharp crack echoes through the air as I see her fall to the floor.

I then slowly walk over to her and see her face alive for the last time, she tells me her last words, " Protect the Bishie, and I love you." She closes her eyes and goes limp.

My world collapsed around me I clasp my hands to my skull and begin to cry as my own blood is pumping through my head. Kaiba then sat there and started to chuckle and gradually he made it become a full on laugh. He then referred to me and started to monologue. " So I see you have began to awaken." I turned to him and he continues. "You really don't know what you really are do you. Well I'll tell you. You are the Envoy of the End, the stopper of life, ender of time, and destroyer of emotion. There is another one like you he is the Envoy of the Beginning, the creator of life, beginner of time, and emotion personified." He cackled a little bit more as he continued with his monologue. "In fire there is the spark of chaos and destruction, the seed of life. In ice, there is perfect tranquility, perfect order, and the silence of death." His smirk became slyer, "You cannot have any friends. You cannot have love. You can only bring death. You can only slay the living and end the lives of your closest friends. Your purpose it to destroy the Envoy of the Beginning, the one who can create life at the snap of his fingers." He smirked, and looked down at me, walking over to me and kicking me down to the ground. "Now that we're on the same page. Go do what you were destined to do." He cackled a little bit and looked down.

I just growled loudly at him as I began to staggering to my feet. "Yes…I shall...But you have my destiny wrong. My destiny…is to kill you!" I quickly jumped up, doing a swift but extremely hard uppercut on his chin. He was launched backwards, and landed on his desk. He laughed, grabbing the gun again and shot the window, jumping through it and landing in his helicopter—swiftly flying away.

Since I couldn't complete my destiny, my rage only deepened. I jumped out of the window, attempting to chase him. Remembering I was not able to fly I plummeted down hundreds of feet. Upon making contact with the ground I landed on top of a car, causing it to fold in half. I shot my hands out effortlessly, and the halves of car were sent hurtling hundreds of yards away. The only thing I could do now was watch as the helicopter attempted to escape. I chase after the helicopter as fast as I could but my deep ingranined rage improved my speed greatly. I was able to chase after the helicopter with ease. The pilot inside attempted to lose me by flying through a crowded street I simply drew my katana and cleaved through a car left-handed. The car was severed in half and the chunks were permanently frozen. More cars piled up so with single cut large gout of freezing energy sent them sprawling side lf the road. I kept giving chase to the helicopter with hundreds of people getting into the nearest cars and taking off in another direction.

I let out a savage cry and dash at the helicopter it starts to rain but apparently the rage increased aura so it overpowered the clothing enchantment, the rain froze around me. By the end of the night the entire city would be covered by a blanket of snow. Hopefully stained red with pieces of Kaiba strewn about. I finally caught up to the helicopter with a quick light kick I was sent straight up to it. I grabbed the landing rails. I sheath my sword and focus my charka into my arm. Suddenly my arm was encased in a clawed gauntlet of ice with a roar I slam my fist inro the under side of the helicopter. I then hoist myself up to the door and tear it of with my non-clawed hand. Kaiba was waiting and with a grin he launches tentacles from his and sends my hurtling back. I slam into a building leap to my feet and barrel through many walls of many buildings to reach the helicopter.

I catch up yet again and leap at the landing bars. I catch one in one hand and catch it, I try to swing into the ground but when I was about 17 feet from the ground tentacles shot from either side and sent them into the ground. The helicopter stopped it and my grip slipped sending me into the ground. I turn around at the helicopter which now resembled a spider with the addition of the tentacle legs as it crawls away.

I was about to give chase when a group of S.W.A.T troops open fire. I flinch back as the bullets come flying at me. A huge sheath of ice protects me from the bullets. I straightened myself and the shield remained. The troops kept firing until their clips ran out. When they saw that I remained whole they all seemed to quake with fear. I released a demonic howl and some troops were sent flying by the force of the howl others just fled from the death-dealing monster with the pale, chaotic, icy blue, eyes they saw before them.

When I finally realized that the heli-spider had escaped permanently the rage deepened to almost the point where I was left more animal then man. I hunched over and summoned a pair of ice claws for my other hand and proceeded to rage about. I hurled cars through random things. There were many times I proceeded to slice entire buildings in half horizontally and vertically. One most occasions I simply tore things in half with my bare hands. While in this state I was always roaring or screaming how I was going to kill

Finally sun rose after that fateful night and I started to calm down. As I regained some kind of conscious thought I noticed I was near her house and the city had been abandoned. I slowly enter her home and I see the tube with Winterwail in it and her Auralens. I pick them up as mementos to her and put them into a sack I found in her closet. I release some tears for her and go out into the city that I had torn to pieces buildings lay in ruins, cars and other pieces of debris littered the streets but only one building remained totally intact and that was Kaiba corp. in the center of the city. I wander the city picking food from delis and other food stores, I grabbed quite a bit of ramen. Then I pillaged stores for kunai, shurinken, letter bombs, and poison. Then I noticed some thing that made me cry, near one of the cars I had sever in two a single purple yo-yo remained abandoned by a child who had run in terror from me. I cried a little more and pocketed the yo-yo as a memento to the child.

I stride to Kaiba corp. watching it very menacingly. I walk briskly up to Kaiba's office where I found Mitsuki lying peacefully on the floor I take her up to the roof and placing her on the center of the center of the city. I decide to make a great temple to her right there. I freeze her in a diamond hard coffin of ice. I don't stop there though. By summoning all of my power I start to mold a colossal temple to her out of the city. By freezing the remains of buildings and debris and meld them into more diamond hard ice. Then once the city was frozen I stacked chunk after chunk until I had erected the largest temple ever of solid crystalline diamond hard ice. There was statues and pillars standing there with her in the center. But when the sun finally hit the temple the whole place was enshrouded in a blinding flash of light.

In memento of that night I named my blade Grimwinter. I take one last look at Mitsuki with her long hair, deep blue eyes, and nice boobs. I shed another tear and leave sealing the doors behind me. The temple was shedding a blinding light that could be seen for mile, yet no one could break its diamond hard shell. This temple was telling everyone around that she died and that she was magnificent.

While I turn to leave I see a man in a long dark cloak. A dagger protrudes from his hand and another made of blazing chakra from his wrist. I ready a fight stance and prepare.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Blah, Blah, Blah insert witty disclaimer here. We do not own anyone, except for a few people, but that's because we STOLE THEIR SOULS! Also, I know that the gun types and other such things are strange, but it's all comedy. Haha. You know…yah…you know. Cause you know what I like. Yeah. I like it rough.

The Adventures of Sesu Akashi Kishiwa Eukashi (WTF?!)

Chapter 4 – The Second Beginning, Stemming off of the original Beginning, which has already began, and stuff…bitch

Wade walked up to the door of Seth's house, with a giant smirk on his face. He ran his fingers through his black hair and then kick the door—instead of knocking on it with his fists. "Yo! Satan is here!" He laughed a little bit and stood there—actually silently—and just sighed.

Two hours later, he growled a little bit, comically pulling out a .308 Winchester and opened fire upon the door. After one minute, about fifteen thousand shells were on the ground. He stopped, throwing the gun to the side, and growl. "WHAT THE HELL!" He looked upon the door as it just stood there, as if nothing had happened to it.

Getting increasingly angry, he pulled out yet another thing. He pulled out a Flammenwerfen 35, which is a type of flamethrower that the Germans used. He open 'fired' (haha, pun.) and after twenty gallons of jellied gasoline, he threw the empty Flammenwerfen next to the .308 Winchester, and they both harmlessly EXPLODED!

He pulled out a gas mask, and a biohazard suit, and sighed. "My last chance…I think…" He also pulled out a giant tank of something green and gaseous. He grabbed a nozzle and started to spray the extremely poisonous gas upon the door. "PURE CHLORINE. EF… TEA… DOUBLE-U…!" He laughed manically as he emptied the entire tank. He paused a little bit, dropping the nozzle on the ground as he checked the damage.

"Seriously. What is this door made out of?" Wade growled a little bit as he walked over to the door, still in the biohazard suit, and lightly knocked his head upon it. The door slowly creaked open and he laughed. "Ooooh! It's a PUSH!" He walked in nonchalantly, taking off his biohazard suit as well. "Breaking and entering is fun…"

"Where the hell is that loser!" Wade grumbled as he searched around Seth's house, which he had to break into since Seth did not leave the door open. "What the hell…I'm seriously going to break something." He picked up a nearby iPod, and quickly pocketed it. He ran up the stairs, and quickly ran into my room.

"HA HA! REALLY FUNNY! HIDING IN YOUR ROOM!" He yelled at the top of his lungs—luckily nobody heard him. He looked around in Seth's room, and sighed a little bit, as he picked up a magazine. "Seth…you poor, lonely boy." He threw it a little scared, and it landed right on Seth's pillow. "…Maxim…" He laughed to himself, "Everyone knows Playboy is better."

He pulled the iPod out, and quickly turned it on, grabbing a nearby pair of headphones, plugging them in and then turning the iPod on. He put it on shuffle, and he laughed at what the first song was. "Bra Size 45 by Ivor Biggun." He just threw it on top of the Maxim, which made it quite sticky, and he quickly ran into the bathroom to wash his hands.

After exiting the bathroom, Wade walked back downstairs. He looked around downstairs, and grabbed the remote. He quickly switched to what he thought was OnDemand. "What the hell is MeVR…? What the hell is OffRelent!! WHAT THE FUCK IS AN IM eNET WORK?!" He threw the remote on the table and a pop up came up. He slowly read the pop up to himself.

"Would you…like to go…and intervene…with an already existing…anime adventure?" Wade scoffed to himself silently, and picking up the remote again, turning it over and seeing a giant red button—the same button pressed before. "…This thing is dumb!" He groaned a little bit and heard something behind him, still gripping the remote.

A cat with it's claws protruding hissed at Wade and he gave it the head snap—the intimidating one. It just hissed again and Wade screamed like a little girl, dropping the remote. As the cat was about to lacerate his face with it's extremely sharp claws, he disappeared.

Wade looked around and smirked. "Cool clouds…Why's the ground getting closer and closer?" As he plummeted to his seeming doom, he landed as soft as Mitsuki did—but he doesn't know who Mitsuki is—does he? (Well…DOES HE? No, I didn't think so…bitch…)

He saw a door and smirked. "I hope there is a young girl that randomly changes into an old chick in there!" He opened it and inside it was something extremely amazing. Millions and millions and millions and millions and you-get-the-idea of…LEMONS! He laughed and then closed the door. "Wait…" He reopened it and saw many naked muscular men. He slammed the door, twitching lightly. "Scarred…for…life…" He shuddered and reopened it, seeing a train coming towards him. He quickly slammed the door and heard a crash. He reopened it again and then just saw millions of naked men and lemons cluttering the floor—dead. "The horror!" He closed the door, taking a quick moment of silence as he began to open and close it, getting the same image for quite a while—until he finally saw a monkey. The monkey had a fez hat, and it reached out. "I'LL SAVE YOU MONKEY!" Wade quickly grabbed the monkey's hand, and was thrown into the back.

Wade appeared at the same secretary desk that Seth had been at. Wade just grabbed the same paper that she actually had out. The secretary looked at Wade, "So…You here to interrupt that other guy?" Wade just grumbled a 'not paying attention' yes, and then continued writing.

Upon finishing, he handed the packet to the girl, and she put her hand up, about to smack him in the head. Wade just smiled a little, "YEAH! HIGH FIVE!" He did the same and gave her a high five, then scratched his head. "Where did she go?"

He looked down and then sighed, "Again with the falling." He began to plummet once again to his supposed doom. He grumbled to himself, "I'll just probably land on my feet with absolutely no damage like last time, correct? Please…" As he hit the ground, he noticed strange letters, with two red and blood-like '16' in front of him. "I took sixteen damage…Damn!"

Wade looked down at his hands, which now had a pair of leather and spiked gauntlets on them. He laughed a little and looked down at what he was standing on. His head had hit a frozen lake. He scratched his head a little bit, and felt that his head was also a little different. His hair was spikier than before, and the tip of his front bangs had their tips dyed red. He looked around more on the lake, and saw something strange. He skated over to it and rubbed his hand on it. "Dried blood? Did someone else fall?" He looked up at the nearby tree, seeing almost all of the branches broken. "What the--!" He heard a catastrophic explosion, and looked behind him to see a city exploding and people screaming as they met their end. "Holy fu—" More explosions stopped him from shouting.

He sighed a little bit, as he continued to examine himself—wiping off some of the frost on the frozen lake—trying to ignore the blood curdling screams in the background. Wade was able to notice that he now had yellow eyes, as well as the clothes he was wearing before, as well as a satchel that had a bunch of paper in it. He opened it and just sighed a little bit. "Yay, paper!" He threw one of the pieces behind him, and looked behind him as well. "Hmm…what happened to the top of the tree? Oh! There it is!" He laughed a little bit, jumping to the side before getting crushed under the weight of the tree.

He looked back at the city—noticing that all the screaming had stopped. Wade began to walk towards the village, seeing a man in a strange black cloak, with red clouds on it. This man had orange hair, and piercings all over his head. Wade reached into his pocket, pulling out a strange very hot dagger. He looked up at the man, and waved at him, and then just punched him in the face. He watched this man fall to the ground, and Wade quickly took his cloak. "Thank you I will return this some day, GOODBYE!" He looked at the man, kicking him as he quickly ran away—not as fast as Sesu but still pretty damn fast.

Wade skidded to a halt as he stopped in front of what used to be a city—and was now a icicle temple. He looked at someone exiting the city, and drew his dagger. He thought to himself, "Fire Style: Dagger of the Assassin of Flames." Out of his wrist came blade of ultra intense heat coming out of his left wrist—but protruding only about ten inches and he held his dagger in his right. He looked at the man silently. The man had icy blue eyes—looking towards Wade with intense hatred, with hair as white as newly fallen snow. He had strange frost-colored clothes on, as he took out a katana, as well as a strange tube, that turned into a very decorated scythe, and smashed it intimidatingly against the ground.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: This is yet another tedious gay monkey butt like witty disclaimer by us. We don't own anyone who we didn't steal the souls of.

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The Adventures of Sesu Akashi (Finally it's back to the main character)

_Chapter 5 - The Battle Part 1_

There I stood staring into the deep yellow eyes of my assailant. I then realize I don't have a cloak. Him having a cloak and me lacking one made my have great amounts of envy.

I turn to him hold up a finger and tell him "One minute please." I see a man with hair just like mine, and a white cloak with waves on the sleeves and the bottom. I turn to him and ask him his name. He responded Sakata Gintoki. I tell him I need his cloak.

"Hell no," he promptly responds.

" Why not?"

"I need it for the ladies"

"You must get tons of girls with that hair"

" Oh No"

A young girl in a red short kimono riding a large white dog suddenly shouted. "Hey! What are two guys who can't get any girls doing! Fags, uh-huh!"

"So can I have it?" I asked.

"No!"

I pulled a parfait-from-nowhere out of my pocket, "I'll give you a parfaaaait!"

"Well…Um…Okay." He took off the cloak and reached for the parfait.

After smashing the parfait over his head, I stole the cloak, put it on and then looked back at the girl, allowing the dog to start to munch on Gin's head. "Do you care if I take this?"

She just smiled a little bit, "No, uh-huh!"

I quickly put it back on, running back to the spot where my scythe was still pierced into the ground. I grabbed it, pulling it out and then put it back. "I return."

The man was sleeping on the ground, until he heard the 'I return', and then he quickly bolted up, summoning the flame dagger again, as well as taking out his material dagger. "You! Did you freeze this town!?"

I nodded a little bit, and looked up at him, "Why?"

"I've been sent by Konoha to investigate the city, and now I cannot do my mission, so now I must take down the one that ended my mission."

I growled—still pissed about the night before, and charge at the man, furiously—with Grimwinter up. I began to unleash a flurry of blows, that all seemed to be countered by the man's daggers. Then, we were sent into a lock—my sword against his material dagger, and we seemed to be equally matched—though he was slowly starting to overpower me, with his much higher strength. He startled for one moment, and both of our weapons went flying, distracting me momentarily. Taking an attack of opportunity, he began to slash at my arms and legs deeply, and minutely at the chest.

I lost all feelings wherever he slashed me, but especially in my arms and legs.

The man retracted his fire dagger, and punched me square in the chest, causing me to be sent a distance away, and gasp for breath for a few moments. "How…do…you…do…this?" taking gasps between words.

He just smirked a little bit, "The dagger is made out of such intensely heated charka, that instead of leaving a visible wound, it cuts through the arm, and cauterizes both the charka and blood flow. I didn't feel like killing you—and that's why I didn't cut your chest that much."

I began to feel my arms and legs again, and I slowly start to rise. "My charka…has been…nearly frozen…so what you did was pretty much…nothing to my charka. And the charka…pushed the blood through my veins." I was still gasping for breath, because the punch was physical—not charka related. I stagger to my feet and draw out Winterwail. I charge at the man who was now left weaponless, or so I thought. He drew out a pair of kunai and prepared for the attack. I swung Winterwail over my head and slammed it down as hard as I could. He blocked with both kunai. Although he was stronger, I had leverage and a much larger weapon. He was losing the weapon lock now. I heard the sound of metal giving way as his kunai began to weaken. When the kunai shattered he leapt back and started to write signs in the air with a trail of flame tracing on the air. This baffled me what was he doing?

When he finished he drew out a piece of paper and slit his finger with the kunai. With the blood he wrote strange symbols on the paper. When he was finished he yelled "Paper sword". The paper began to fold and somehow grow into a sword shaped weapon, covered in blood colored runes. I had a good feeling that this was not just a piece of paper. I decide to test him as I draw out three shuriken. I hurl the shuriken at him with a few quick calculated cuts the shuriken were left in pieces on the ground. He nodded at me and said "Retrieve your own sword so we may do battle." I walk over to where Grimwinter lay. I retrieve it and we both stare at each other.

After about five minutes of posing we both dash at each other. He didn't even make it half of the way to the place that would middle from where we stood. I realized that I was infinitely faster then he was. After we throw a flurry of blows at each other he kicked me in the chest and followed it with a jab to the cheek. I tasted blood in my mouth and also realized he was a lot stronger then I was. I pay him back by showing off my speed a little.

I leapt back about ten feet and then shoot from left to right repeatedly. He had trouble following my movements. Suddenly I shot directly in front of him where he quickly took a swing with his paper sword I dodged and shot between his legs giving him some minor cuts to the legs as I went. While he buckled over in pain I spun around and side kicked him hard in the butt. He shot upright in pain howling like a wounded animal. As a finishing blow I use the "short range super speed almost like teleportation" move that I used in the forest while crushing him in the back with a palm strike. When I was visible again I was in front of him. His wail had stop and after a moment of standing upright he collapsed to all fours.

I rise up and look at him. He coughed up a little bit of blood and while shaking semi-violently rose to his feet. I sheathed my sword and noticed his was left as a limp sword shaped piece of paper; the runes had disappeared. When he had regained some of dignity from the viscous beating I had given him, he wove some signs and I noticed that the signs were kanji and they were similar to one I knew. I leap back and start to weave signs of my own. When we were done we unleashed our jutsu at the same time. He shouted, "Flame Needle" and spread his hands wide, a rapid barrage of needles composed of flame shot from his palms. I realize I had done almost the same thing. I hold my hands the same way and bellow "Ice Needle" as needles of ice were fired. The needles collided in the air and cancelled each other out. Both of us raise our eyebrows and say "impressive" at the same time.

Both of us were left winded after that display of charka. We had to catch our breaths for a short time. It seemed we were both equally matched but differed in what we specialized in. At the rate we were going at we were probably both going to wear ourselves out and drop dead before either gave up.

I rise to my feet and bellow "Sheath your weapon we both won't get anywhere that way". With a nod he rises and sheaths his dagger. We both ready ourselves and get into our respective guard stances preparing for the other to attack. He had his body locked, with his fists tight ready to unleash viscously strong attacks. Me on the other hand kept my hands open and legs constantly moving.

When we were ready, he came barreling at me. I launch off at him, at the same moment. As he punched me square in the temple, I got him square in his face with an open palm strike. My palm was lodged in his face, and his fist was lodge in my temple. The man collapsed to the ground.

I lightly tap him with my foot, followed by a groan from him signifying that he was just in pain. I give him a little bow, and left on my merry way. I had only just begun to sing, 'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot', when I heard a gurgled coughing come behind me. The assailant had just risen to his feet, as he was in the standard 'hold two fingers in front of face and strike a cool ninja pose' pose. I look down and notice a small flame on my shirt. In a sudden flash, I realize I had bigger problems (I've been realizing a lot this fight.)

Where I stood currently was much different from the field I had stood in previously. Not only was my enemy missing, but also the landscape was burnt and charred and the sky was glowing an unholy red. The only weird thing was that I was standing at the foot of a volcano and I was unable to move my feet. I look up in the sky and squint really hard to see many falling objects, aimed towards my general direction.

My eyes grew wide as I realize (oh yes, I did it again) that the objects were great flaming meteors that are raining all upon me. I attempt to dodge but my legs refused. I stared at the meteors crashing around me, bursting on impact with the ground or me. I attempt to destroy them with both my Winterwail and Grimwinter, but I only see the empty sheaths that are left behind. Quickly attempting to destroy them with my fists, the entire world freezes. I hear a strange noise, and then a booming voice comes from nowhere. "You rolled a one. As you attempt to break the meteors," everything starts to go in slow motion, "You forget how." I begin to yell at the top of my lungs, as the meteors begin to land on top of me. Every time a meteor hit, I yelled harder and harder still.

When the meteors finally subsided, I kept yelling. My arms had been badly burned, and my blood had run everywhere. My legs refused to move.

A deep rumbling could be heard from beneath me. Then the rumbling ceased, and I could see the volcano begin to erupt metric tons upon metric tons of liquid rock, coming towards my badly burned body. I proceed to yell yet again. The magma crept even closer, fast enough to gain progress, but slow enough to be highly dramatic. Finally it reached my badly burned body. The magma engulfed me as it filled the craters the meteors had left. This was like a single piece of burned cereal against thousands and thousands of gallons of milk. I was consumed in the magma, and began to drown in it. I yelled no matter how much magma filled my lungs.

Ever so slowly I rose to the surface of the magma, and I finally stopped yelling—and still this hell remained. I felt my body slowly start to rise and float to solid ground. My body had been completely charred over. I started to bleed out of all the pores on my body. Then I heard the one of the most terrifying sounds of my life. It was like the rumbling of a volcano, but it was laughing. I saw the top of the volcano, and I saw an entity that could only be explained as the god of fire.

He jumped down from his flaming throne and landed near my. I started to roar now, louder than ever, and still growing. The god began to laugh at the inferior roar of the mortal. He brought his foot back, and allowed my chest to meet it—in a kick. When his foot was millimeters from my face, my yell became so loud that the entire genjutsu shattered.

I fell to all fours and was breathing heavily. I vomit frozen vomit. I noticed (see, I didn't realize this time!) that the world has become normal against, excluding the frozen vomit on the ground.

I raise my head and noticed my opponent was still standing there, chuckling slighting, with his fingers still in front of his face. He dashed over to me and gave me a sharp kick to the side of the head. I was sent flying—landing hard on my shoulder. I attempt to rise, as he gives me two sharp kicks to the stomach and head respectively.

He lifted me by my throat—by one hand—and my feet left the ground. He stared deep into my eyes, and went into some long monologue about how he had won, but I didn't catch any of it since I was slipping into unconsciousness. Only when I smirked a little and chuckled did he see the already woven signs. He drew his knife, yelled, and then began to try to gouge my brain out. As a last ditch attempt, I swing both legs around, knocking his knife-arm in his grab-Sesu-by-the-throat arm.

I landed ungracefully on my ass, and then leaped to my feet. He came after me as my eyes flashed bright blue. He natural stopped short and looked at the man now before him. He watched as the figure seemed to grow about seven feet tall.

The figure grabbed tube and a scythe shot out—equally proportionate to itself. Suddenly, a cloak as black as shadow sprouted from it's back and enshrouded it. In this new form he seemed to be death personified.

Death raised his hand, which was bone white. He flicked his wrist upwards and a slab of ice rose behind the assailant (I'm using assailant way too much, I'm now using 'bob'). Then with another gesture, the bonds of shadow entrapped 'bob' (See, you thought I was joking. Well I wasn't. Nanny…nanny frikken boo boo). Then death strode over, and placed his hand on 'bob's' head. With a jolt, 'bob' died….or at least he thought he did. He had—in a ten second span—seen ten thousand ways he could have died. Death took his hand away and the assailant (I changed my mind.) saw life again. Then Death stepped away and readied his scythe. He swing it a few feet away from where the assailant was imprisoned. A wave of energy was released and ran through 'chris's' (I done changed his name again). 'Chris' saw the ten thousand deaths ten thousand times over in an instant.

When he opened his eyes again, he vomited flaming vomit, lighting a near rose on fire (okay, back to me now!). I laugh a little bit at 'chris's' total misery, and then I laughed at the flaming rose (that sounds kinda cool!). I stood above him, offering him my hand. He grasps it and I pull him to his feet, readying myself with Winterwail and Grimwinter. "Let's finish this."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All your disclaimer are belong to us

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The Adventures of Sesu Akashi

_Chapter 6 – Battle Part 2_

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I stood there with Grimwinter and Winterwail in hand. My assailant shifted into his ready stance with his dagger in hand. I dash at him, hoping to win on just speed alone, both of my weapons hit him hard. He was off balance and he had to use the studs on his fists to block.

I wrap my sword around his dagger and flip his dagger away—but I had to release Grimwinter to disarm him. Luckily I still had Winterwail. I grab it two handed and sweep his legs with the blunt end. He tripped and fell to the ground. I spin the scythe and aim the downward strike at his face.

Bringing it straight down, he rolls away to the left, by mere inches. The force of the blow sent chunks of earth (like huge rocks) into the air, and he jumps into the blunt and large earthen shrapnel to hide.

A moment later, the rock chunks fell, and there were twenty identical versions of my opponent around me.

This is just what I needed now…Doppelgangers. They all attack me simultaneously, similar to a football pile-up.

I was able to hold them off with Winterwail for about three seconds. But one leapt onto my back and held on, and now it was all over. They all simply leapt atop me and shrouded me from view. They all began to curb stomp me into nothingness. After a short time, the doppelgangers dispersed and looked around for a corpse, but to no avail.

One spoke up and noticed that one had a cut on his cheek.

He asks, "Oy! Why do you have a cut? We're all doppelgangers. You should have disappeared."

"Umm…Err…Yeah…Umm…Err… I'm the real assailant?" I said with a shrug.

"No you're not! I am!" which was said on the opposite side of my location, relative to the doppelgangers (x2/2 will get you my location.)

"Umm…Err…Uhh…Yeah…" I plainly stated, giving up my disguise. From my pocket I drew Winterwail and Grimwinter. I threw the scythe sidearm so it horizontally mowed down the doppelgangers, causing them to burst into flames as they are struck, with a resounding pop.

The man whom spoke up before ducks down and is barely able to dodge the scythe as it flies overhead. He smirks a little bit and stands up, "Missed!"

The next thing he new, a sword that had recently been reacquired and thrown by me, had its hilt hit him on the forehead. He begins to draw backwards by sheer amazement that he was hit yet again. I charge forward and run up his body, jumping into the air and catching Grimwinter in midair.

Landing to the ground, the only thing I feel his fist go, the literal form of, through my head.

Next thing my assailant knew, his fist was actually through an ice sculpture of me shrugging with a smile on my face. He growled a little bit as I stood behind him, wagging my finger.

"Temper, Temper…"

He drove his left foot into me, only to impale yet another sculpture. "Gah! I hate this guy!" He growled lightly as I stood to the left of him.

"Tch, Tch, Tch…I expected better."

He sent his other free arm through my chest, yet again having it only be an ice sculpture. "I'm going to eat you!" He yelled angrily as I appeared in front of him, snickering to myself quietly. I begin to laugh and walk away, leaving him to his imprisonment. From what I assumed from his actions, he simply drove himself into the air with his free leg. He then spins into the air, driving the left arm into my head, causing the ice sculpture to shatter instantly, and causing me to become dazed. Landing on his left hand, he spun himself around and forearm struck me with the other arm, sweeping my legs (nearly shattering them), and shattering the ice sculpture—causing me to fly into the air, spinning. He does one more spin, ending with him flicking his free leg, and then aiming the other leg at my spine successfully causing the ice sculpture to shatter—on my spine.

I was sent hurdling into the ground, causing a drag crater that seemed to go on for miles. I get up painfully and with the sound of popping bones and sore tendons and muscles. I brush myself off when he could not see, and walked out of the crater all cool and calm like (Why is the hero walking like an ANTI-hero? WORMHOLE I TELL YOU! WOOOORMHOOOOOOOOOLE!).

I reach into my shuriken bag, and pull out many shuriken attached to strings, and throw them at a wide arc, so they seemed to wrap around him. He didn't know about the strings until it was too late. They entangle him, and then come back—and I catch them in my fingers. (What a fast recovery, huh?!).

He chuckled a little bit and said "Do you think that these pathetic strings will be able to hold me for more then a moment. He began to struggle with his bonds that he only now realized were a little stronger then he first believed.

With a short flick of my wrist and pulling of my fingers I increased the pressure on his body. I could easily tell I was cutting off his blood circulation.

He chuckled a little more so I increased the pressure again. This was before I was able to notice his, now gradually turning purple, finger making strange symbols of fire on the air (YES ON THE AIR).

When he was done his body caught on fire. (YES ON FIRE, NO NOT JUST HIS CLOTHES, HIM ON FIRE ALOT). This resulted in the strings catching on fire. This seemed of no consequence to me because fire can't burn metal shuriken. I simply sat there content waiting until the flames died down so I wouldn't burn myself when I throw them at him.

Life was good until I realized my fallacy I had accidentally grabbed gunpowder tipped shuriken. The flame was already so close it would be pointless to drop them. Anyone watching would have noticed a tear fall from my eye. When the flame hit the shuriken they exploded. I was sent hurtling back by the blast. I had been riddled with shrapnel from the shuriken; luckily nowhere too vita was hit.

I landed hard on the flat of my back just lying there burning and bleeding. As I lay there I closed my eyes for just a moment (Not a good idea in a ninja battle). I wasn't thinking of the fight at this time or even the pain I should have been feeling I was only able to think of one thing… Mitsuki.

Mitsuki in all of her lolita-kun kindness, sexiness and beauty. Mitsuki with her bell like voice and laughter, her lime green, red striped thong-panties, and the scythe I now wield. I finally realized that these are all a really good reasons to avenge someone. I could not die yet dying is unacceptable. "I CAN NOT DIE YET" I bellow as I begin to roll over to get up on to my feet.

"Erm…Yeah…Uh… you can … please" He pleads seeing that the explosion had yet to kill me.

As I rose to my feet my rage exploded…again.

My assailant was totally shocked by this totally new persona. He was especially shocked by the eyes. The beautiful blue eyes he had once seen where now replaced by the terrible eyes of a beast. The eyes had the look of a cat's SPOILER ALERT( Trust me you'll see, YOU'LL ALL SEE) but a cat's that thirsts for blood.

My assailant blinked once and I was behind him. Before he realized my presence he felt the crushing blow of my back fist to his head. He was sent into a lazy arc into the sky. I simply ran to where he was to land and kneed him into the sky. I scooped up some stones and threw them around him in a shotgun like blast. None really hit him though. I do the teleport strike thing(now called warp fist) up to a pebble. I kick off it towards a pebble on the opposite side of him and do another Warp Fist striking him. This process continued until we were about 250 feet up in the air. I kicked off a pebble so I was next to him and head butt him down to the ground. I Warp Fist down to the ground and side kick him when he gets close enough. He is now parallel to the ground and going horizontally away from me. I run faster then he was hurtling and jump so now I'm parallel to the ground but looking down facing him.

I simply say "You're a failure" and then head butt him into the ground. I tuck and roll onto my feet some distance away from him. Breathing heavily my rage gradually subsides.

I wasn't feeling so good after using up all that charka so, and I could see he wasn't much better off. Quite frankly he looked like a corpse.

He rose to his feet slowly (he must have known I was in no position to stop him). When he was done (yes it took that long) he said "You're a busy man and I'm a busy man lets finish this with our ULTIMATE JUTSUS (because we obviously have enough charka because it's a dramatic scene). I nod and start to weave the signs as he does his cool flame-writing thing that I kind of wish I had thought of (Although berserk furies kick just as much if not tons more ass).

He finishes his jutsu first and then yells "You lose! This is my ultimate jutsu: catalytic conversion, where I am able to turn anything into pure energy. To be fair I'll turn an atom into pure energy this should have the affect of an atom bomb." He snapped his fingers that had a louder more resounding sound then usual. I saw the spark where the atom was as it gradually grew in size. I turn around and simply run as I continue to weave the necessary signs. I finish the jutsu and turn around skidding. There his blast was growing in size destroying many trees and stuff(That's….terrible writing….Who would say something that idiotic sounding? Gah, we need new writers…actually…we don't.).

I leap back quickly; signing my ultimate jutsu while his large blast is coming after me. "BLAAAAAARG!" That's the only word I can say when in this much alertness. Finishing my jutsu, which is a ball of pure frozen chakra in my palm, I run as fast as I can, until I'm around a football field away. Skidding to a halt, I turn and look at the blast. "THIS IS MY ULTIMATE JUTSU! **COOOOOOLD SNAAAAP!!1!**"(Whoa. Dude. Relax. Remember, caps lock is cruise control for cool, and even with cruise control, you need to steer.)

Tossing the ball of frozen chakra into the air, I put my fist through it, and a gigantic wave of an absolute zero temperate went forward in a blast.

They strike each other as two opposites should; Life and death, hot and cold, light and dark, yin and yang, red and blue, and blah blah, more poetic crap. They hit each other and meld, going up in the sky, kind of like a giant typhoon thing ( Seth.) The energy released was phenomenal. It caused much wind, causing a hurricane of sexiness, until finally, it was frozen( Wade.)

I had frozen his energy. The force of an atom bomb. Frozen. Almost instantly. I had stopped pure life.

I snap my fingers, and the frozen energy typhoon cracked and exploded into a trillion little shards of glowing chakra.

Now I was truly exhausted. I was nearly at the end of my chakra and my assailant wasn't looking too good either. He stood there, wobbling ever so slightly. Then an idea hits me hard. As hard as a flying tank(EXCELCIOR!). I get really really angry. I close my eyes again and focus really really really really hard on Mitsuki and how Kaiba killed her. Again, my rage exploded, except this time it lacked a certain 'oomph'. It was not quite as good as all my other rages, but it was still satisfactory.

I do the whole double ninja deal, with my right hand—having the index and middle finger extended—and with my left hand in a clenching motion, leaned backwards to my right hand(think Gaara of the Funk.) Suddenly, my opponent(I need his name) is stuck in an ice coffin, with solely his head extending out. He had no use of his fingers(so he can't use that faggy-ass flame writing thing.)

Laughing manically, I slowly start to clench my fist. "This will teach you to attack me!" I continue laughing particularly insanely, and just as I was about to completely finish this, and then, a flash of white, and then I was in nothing. There was nothing else but myself, and whiteness.

Dropping my hands to my side, I look around. "Where am I?"

"Your own mind," said a soft and familiar voice.

I was kind of confused. I mean, what the hell lives here?

Then I heard a small giggle, one of which I feel I have not heard in a while (It was a long time, it was three chapters ago.)

I felt silky smooth skin run along my neck as I was held in a warm backwards embrace. I felt her(or at least I assumed it was a her because of the lumps of muscle and flesh pushed up against my back) head placed next to mine on my shoulder.

"So, what's up Sesu?" the girl said in the voice of the bells. I knew it so well.

"M….Mitsuki?" I asked awkwardly.

"Who else!?" she replied with a laugh and a smile.

"Aren't you….d….dead?"

"Yep, but every now and then I can communicate with the living."

"Why did you come here now?"

"Silly, you were about to obliterate your best friend!" she giggled again.

"Who exactly?" I asked.

"You'll see. Just use the AuraLens," she chimed in with her bell voice. "As a side note, he's the Envoy of the Beginning."

"Aren't I suppose to kill him?"

"NO!" she raged back, squeezing my neck in between her arms, "NEVER DO AS KAIBA TELLS YOU!"

"Oh….Okay," I replied meekly, when I could breath at least.

"Now…It's time for me to go!" she loosened her grip as she replied cheerily.

"What!? Please no….Stay…" I beg.

"I can't stay. If I stay you'll run out of chakra," she replied in a matter-o-fact way.

"Wait, Please, stay, I'm begging you….wait….Run out of chakra?"

"Yeah, your rage ended and you've been maintaining your ice coffin this entire time. This is all occurring in your sub-conscious, but I really are here."

"Oh…Okay."

Then I felt her arms release around me, and I felt her lips press against my cheek for a moment. Then, I could feel her presence slowly leaving me. I looked behind, to see a great spectacle. What I saw was Mitsuki in a sexy angel outfit and bathed in a glorious light. She near instantly faded with the white and I was returned to the valley.

I kept turning and flailing my arms calling out "Mitsuki!" hoping and praying she would return.

Unknowingly I also still kept my attacker in the coffin. So with him still in the coffin, the coffin went around as by my arm movements. The coffin was spinning and crashing into trees and destroying lots and lots of stuff.

Suddenly, I lost control. I didn't have enough chakra to maintain the ice coffin. Letting go of the jutsu, the coffin around the attacker broke into dust, and he feel down to the ground like a lead balloon. I didn't fall any more gracefully, as I also hit the ground.

I take a breath in my lying position, "Owww…Do not want move! Breath no fun!" With a grunt and the popping of many joints, I turn onto my stomach. I begin crawling towards the person that I was just fighting. I had a slight hint on who he was by this point. In between me and him, there was a big puddle of water from the melting of the mixture of both of our ultimate jutsus. I look into the smooth and clear water, and started going through the puddle—or maybe a pond or a lake now that I think about it.

Once I get in, I feel a icy sting, because it was still really really cold. By the time I reach the end of the pondle(puddle + pond pondle), I feel slightly refreshed(I say I'm about 15 chakra, instead of 0.0000001 chakra.)

I stand on my own two feet, not feeling as much pain as I could have had. I looked over at my opponent, and saw the surprise in his eyes of seeing someone he took to be dead. I walk over to his body and whip out the AuraLens from my pocket.

"Hmmm…I surprised it stayed in tact this entire fight."

I start playing with the levers on the side, trying to find the selection I wanted. Finally I got to it. 'Name.' I put it to my eye and look at him, "Hmm… Kishiwa Eukashi." I think for a moment, and look into the lake. "Ooooh! My name's Sesu Akashi. Coolness." I cough lightly, actually coughing up blood(I'm not COMPLETELY healed. Bandaids fix everything. EVERYTHING.)

I ask the boy, who's fifteen—which I know thanks to the lens. "What's your name?"

The opponent groans lightly from all the pain he has been put through, "Wade. Why do you ask?"

"Dude! You're Wade?! It's me Seth!"

"No you're not, you tried to kill me!"

"Only because you provoked me. Sorry I almost turned you into a bloody mist."

Kishiwa was silent for a few moments, "Oh yeah, you're Seth."

"Now it's time for me to help!"

"HELL NO! YOU'LL KILL ME! Since this is only a dream after your cat KO'ed me. Then it seemed like I went into your MeVR. And then a bunch of other stuff happened, and now I'm here. It's all a dream though."

"Dude, this is no dream. You're really dieing."

He laughs lightly, "Oooh…Sure………………………..Really?"

"Y-yeah…Don't move." I place my hand on his forehead, and his head actually was really hot. I quickly retracted my hand. "Dude, what the hell is your body temperature?"

He thought for a moment, "Ohhh…About 120. What's yours?"

I look into the pond again, "Oh, about 75." This was an interesting new development. I have a body temperature that means I should be dead, and Kishiwa should be on fire, but that's not the point. Maybe now I can have an ally that can help me defeat Kaiba.

I take a deep breath, and force my hand onto his head, and force chakra into him.

Kishiwa groans, "Cold! Cold! No! Cold!…..Waaaarm….I feel better now." He stands up and dusts himself off.

"You wanna join me to get revenge?"

Kishiwa nods and shrugs a 'yes'.

"Alright, cool." I think back at what Mitsuki said, before she had been killed. I turn to Kishiwa, "What's a 'Bishie'?"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Lol disclaimer

Disclaimer: Lol disclaimer.

The Adventures of Sesu Akashi

Chapter 7 – "Neck Munch Almost!"

After the battle, Kishiwa and I began w3alking around the impact crater from our battle. Getting bored with the silence, we begin to talk.

"So, what's up?" I start.

"Nothing…Nothing at all. You?" He replies.

"Meh, I'm doing okay. How'd you get here?"

"Oh, I just broke into your home, threw your iPod onto your sticky Maxim, went downstairs, got attacked by your cat, and then boom, I'm here," he said nonchalantly.

"Oh, okay, that's coo—WHAAAAT!?1"

If it wasn't for the black cloaked figure falling from the sky ontop of me, I would have Cold Snap™-ified his gluteus maximus. I throw the cloak figure off of me, "Noo!" I smirk lightly, ignoring the figure, and avert my gaze to Kishiwa. I begin yelling at him.

"Why did you break into my house? You could have wrung the door bell and waited!"

"I did….For two hours!"

"I don't care! You wait longer! You still shouldn't break into someone's house you eejit!"

"Don't call me an eejit, I'm not the one who almost turned his best friend into a bloody mist of death!"

If I had been paying any sort of attention, I would have heard and seen the cloaked figure groaning and rising from behind me. My attention was gradually being drawn to a small silvery object blinking in the light that was on the ground.

"HEY! A nickel!" I say in a rather childlike voice as I bend down to pick it up. As I bend down to pick it up the nickel, I hear a bone rattling CRUNCH quickly followed by a moaning "Onngggh, that really hurt," behind and above me.

That cloaked figure must have tried to bite me, and—alerted by the noise—my head rocketed up and hit her in the jaw—making another cracking noise behind me.

"Wait! My enemy must be behind me!" I turn and do a backfist to her face, knocking her to the side. Her cloak's hood fell, and I saw her face. She had ruby red eyes, that complimented her jet black hair. As she spoke, her fangs were apparent(but he's dumb, so he wasn't catching on.)

She seemed like she was about to yell, but then she just began to cry.

"No. NO! No crying!" I yelled, taking in her beauty for a moment. Seeing her cry, I was overcome by sadness, wanting to cry too. I ran over to her, wrapping my arms around her carefully. "Uhhh….Bad time for this….buuuuuuut….would you like to model for me?"

"Sure, where's your camera?" She seemed to slowly be getting happier.

"Uhhhh…." I turn to Kishiwa, "Do you have a camera? It's really important that I get one."

Kishiwa smirked evilly, taking out a camera and throwing it against a tree, causing it to break into many pieces. "That'll learn ya' to yell at and insult me!"

I was overcome with anger, wanting to beat the stupid out of him, but then I remembered I have a beautiful vixen in my arms.

"Umm….May I kiss you? Instead of you paying me to model for you?" She asked with an inquisitive but gorgeous smile.

"O-of course!"(Wow, he sure got over Mitsuki quick…Or maybe he's a whore. Most likely the whore one.) I form my lips to receive a kiss from her.

She readied her fangs, slowly going towards my neck. VERY slowly.

Wondering what's taking so long, I open my eyes and see her trying to bite my neck. I head butt her mouth lightly—as to not kill her from my forehead's sheer mass. "NO! DO NOT WANT!"

She pouted, growling to herself, "Why now?! I just wanted to make you my slave! What's the big deal?"

"Oh, okay, go ahe—WHAAAT!!" I stand up, and begin yelling at her. Sadly, when I'm THIS angry, I yell like a noob. In the back of my eardrums, I hear Kishiwa laughing and falling onto the ground.

"OMG! J00 n0 g3+ 2 byte me! U cud hav juss axed! OMGWTFTITBICBTIHIWKSN! TITS OR GTFO!"

I felt two smacks upon my face. One was weak, and the OTHER WAS STRONG. Regardless, my neck felt like it was going to snap. "Ow! Why did you hit me so hard, Kishiwa?!"

Kishiwa looked at me, "I didn't hit you hard!"

The figure was laughing evilly, "N00b speak makes me wanna beat you so hard!"(Wow, didn't have to do with the TITS OR GTFO…)

Kishiwa backed away.

I looked at her, "S-Sorry. I got pissed."

She sighed lightly and looked into my eyes with a mesmerizing glint to them. "Ok! The only way I'll feel better is if I kiss you! My evil eyes are going to make you do so."

I looked at her strangely, "What evil—?"

Kishiwa walking past me in a zombie-like state cut me off. "Yeees maaaaaster…"

She smiled, "See! He's a good little slave!" She smiled and parted her lips, putting her hands on his shoulders and went very, VERY slowly to his jugular vein.

Right when she was going to bite, I grabbed Kishiwa and pulled him away, "Bad! No biting Kishi!"

Kishiwa shook his head and looked at me, then our laced-together-hands, then at me again. "NO!" He pulled away, hugging his hand. "It's okay righty….Everything'll be aaaallright…"

I look over at the cloaked figure, "So…You're cool. Travel with us! What's your name?"

She smiled lightly, chuckling at both of our shenanigans. "I'm very amused by you two. My name is Sam."

So, with our new friend Sam, we began following and walking to a new city.

"It's called Xaler. It has a bunch of stores and stuff like that." She jumped lightly, as if she had just remembered something she had forgotten previously, "Oh crap! I have to go find the sisters!"

"Who?"

"GOODBYE!" She spun around and disappeared in a black poof.

"Hmmm…What an odd girl. I hope e see her again someday." I frown at losing of another friend.

"From behind me, I hear Kishiwa's voice. "We will!"

"How do you know that Kishi?"

"Uhhh, duuuuh. We're writing the--!"

My fist silenced him, by being inserted in his mouth. "Besides THAT reason, you damn cheater."

"Oh…I don't know why then!"

I sigh lightly and continue walking with Kishiwa until we were at he gates of Xaler. How did I know? BECAUSE I'M A FRIGGIN' NINJA!

"We're heeeere!" I rang out in a singsong-y tone.

Kishiwa rolled his eyes at me, "No way. I couldn't tell by the signs, arrows, and the fact that there is a huge ass town in front of us."

"You shut your whore mouth. Who's that?" I walk over to the teen dressed in a jean jacket, with jeans on, dark skin, short black hair, and a joint in his mouth.

"Hey you!" I yelled though I was very close to him.

"Who me?" The hippie yelled back.

"Yeah. You can't have joints in mah story!"

"It's not a joint."

"It's not?"

"No. It's a rolled up piece of paper with marijuana in it that's on fire."

"That's what a joint is!"

"Yeah? So? I never said it wasn't a joint."

"YOU DID SAY IT WASN'T A JOINT!"

"Oh…Well….I'm not inhaling…"

"Oh, okay. That's fi—WHAT?! It's still a flipping joint!"

I was still fuming(or would it be icing?) from the whole Sam incident, and I was not about to deal with this Hippie. Raising the Grimwinter into the air, I slashed down upon the joint—cutting it in two.

"Hey! That was 30 worth of Mary Jane!"

"Yeah, so? What's your name?"

"Mike."

"I'm gonna call you Hippie. Okay hippie?" I smile and nod at him. I wasn't exactly paying attention.

"Actually, no, I'm not okay……….Wait….What we're we talking about?"

After around thirty minutes of blank stares and silence, I put my backpack on the ground and unzip it. Hippie was sitting cross-legged on the ground. Picking him up, he remained motionless as I shoved him into my backpack.

"You're going on an adventure? Okay? Okay. You have no say."

"YAAAY! NO SAY!"

Hippie was obviously stoned out of his mind and had no idea what was going on, because I zipped up my backpack(which stayed the same size, mass, and it didn't even look like anything was in it) and began walking to Xaler.

"Hey! This is a nice place you got here," my backpack tells me.

"Shut up!" I take out the hilt of my sword, and hit the backpack. "You stfu right now!"

Even though I had been yelling at my backpack, he didn't shut up, and he just rambled about the governments lies, and flying macaroni, and unicorns. I repeatedly hit him.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: We own everyone

Disclaimer: We own everyone. You use, we sue. Ze end. Warning: We don't own people that we don't own.

The Adventures of Sesu Akashi

_Chapter 8 – "Why Does I Do These Things To Myself?"_

As my party(which includes myself, a friend that I almost turned into blood mist, and a Hippie I haven't yet killed in my backpack) walk into Xaler, I notice something that's different from this city then the now icified city that I went into with Mitsuki. This one is a lot more epic. It had more skyscrapers, and more people. Besides that, not a lot happened. Like nothing. I even saw a NAP.

Kishiwa stopped immediately, "Hey…What's a N.A.P?"

"That's another word for sleeping, Kishie," I said back.

"No, the store."

"Oh…WHO THE HELL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT 'N.A.P' IS!?"

The backpack speaks up, "Yeah, even I know what that is."

I hit my backpack with my fist(That's right, I just reached around my head and behind my body, and punched my backpack). "N.A.P stands for 'Ninja Apparel Please'….You retard."

Kishiwa looked dumbfounded and could only answer with an, "…Oh…Can we go in there?" Regardless if I said yes or not, he walked into the store and bought some clothes for himself and me, and we put them on. (Did I say buy? I meant stole.)

"Blaaaarg…I'm huuuungry!" I look around a little bit and walk over to the nearest Ramen Shop.

Running into the shop, Kishiwa cuts me off. Growling with anger, I allow him to live and order his food first.

"Hi, yes, I'll have one medium bowl of Ramen please," Kishiwa, says very politely.

I push him away as he waits for his order. "Hi, I'll have 48 jumbo bowls of Ramen." I feel a poke from my backpack, "Oh…Sorry. Make that 49, my backpack is hungry. Make the last one a small though."

A few minutes later, Kishiwa is eating his ramen and I'm eating my 48th bowl. I remember that I have a small, pouring it into my backpack.

"Hey," Kishiwa has a look of concern on his face as he gets my attention.

"Mmmphh?" I ask with a bowl of ramen to my face—drinking the broth.

"How the hell are we suppose to pay for this? I only have three dollars. How much do you have?"

"Mmmmm…." I nervously chug the rest of the broth and look at him. "Umm…I have thirty cents…. Wait! I have an idea." I walk over to the open door and put my hands on the ground. Kishiwa walks over to me and asks what I'm doing. I just laugh, and grab him by the collar and bolt as fast as I could out of the ramen shop.

"Hey wait! A runner!" The shop owner runs after me. It was all futile though. I was way too fast for him (He was a fatty mcfatfat anyways).

Turning into an alleyway, Kishiwa—whom was steaming and bloody from me both running so fast and dragging him against the ground—and I see someone. There is a man—nay—a small boy in this alleyway, wearing a black cloak—but it was all pointy and stuff.

He says, "I challenge you to a children's card game."

Pulling out a Yu-Gi-Oh deck, I look at him kind of confused. I whisper at my backpack, "Hippie…Psst…Do I have a Yu-Gi-Oh deck in there?"

Out of nowhere, a Yu-Gi-Oh deck pops out of the backpack, going into the air, and landing in my hand. "Thanks."

In about thirty seconds of playing this card game, I whoop him so brutally that the mysterious cloak just falls off of him. It turns out it was him—the famous Yuugi Motou a.k.a Bishie, which I now remember.

"Hi…I'm supposed to protect you."

He looks at me a little strangely, "What do you mean, stranger?"

I laugh a little bit, "A girl told me to. I'm Sesu by the way. That's Kishiwa." I point over at Kishiwa whom is in a puddle of his own blood unconscious because I didn't give him a Band-Aid™ for all his wounds.

Yuugi just smiles, "It was Mitsuki wasn't it. Okay, I'll go with you."

I fall to the ground, curling up into a ball. I begin crying, because just hearing the name Mitsuki makes me cry.

Kishiwa groans a little bit—a bandage had popped out of my backpack and wrapped itself around him. "What, are you some kind of emo?"

"Shut up!"

Kishiwa laughs a little bit and pats me twice on the back, and then he hits the wall—because I punched him for touching my glorious body. "No touchy." I get up feeling better, and then give Kishiwa a bandage for his nose. "There you go."

We all start walking out of the alleyway, "Hey…Where are my star chip and locater cards?" I ask, giggling to myself (He's making fun of Bishie btw).

The Bishie starts crying. He hates his past. With a Passion. Of Christ. He's depressed only because he lost his puzzle though (PuzzleConfidence). "Oh poop, I made a noise."

"So?" Kishiwa says—picking his ear.

"I can't make noise." He starts to whisper very lightly. "She'll find me."

I was standing right in front of him. "Who?"

"Heeeeeer," he said in a strange raspy voice.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE BISHIE!" I heard a cry, like that of a wild animal. Similar to that of a lioness stalking her prey. Similar to other cool metaphors and imagery that I'm WAY too lazy to think of right now.

Then everything got slow motion. As I look over my shoulder, I see what to a normal person's eyes would be a blur. But to my supernatural eyes through my super-cat-like eyes, I see a girl with dark green hair in pigtails to both sides, wearing a generic Japanese schoolgirl outfit (Seth couldn't think of anything). She was charging in my direction, at supernatural speeds. I didn't even have time to react, and before I knew it, there was a crush pain in my spine, as I slowly begin to spin (Remember, everything is in slow motion). No pain that I have felt has ever been as painful as this painful pain that awakens the pain section of my brain—which was also in pain from all the use of the word pain (BRING THE PAAAAIN!). I fall down flat on my face, as everything went back into regular speed.

Staggering up to my feet, I see the Bishie running from this female—who I guess ran out of steam because she was running much slower.

Deciding to make up for looking retarded, I get on one knee and lace my fingers together. "Bishie! Quick! Come here!"

The Bishie begins running towards me, and he steps onto my hand, and I launch up and throw him into the air.

Smiling a little bit, feeling victorious, I stare at him flying into the air. Little did I know to me, this girl was not about to quit. She wall-ran up my body, and began kicking my face to charge up a jump. Before the first kick, I accidentally looked up her skirt to see that she was wearing shorts (HAAA SEE I covered my tracks no punch to me, see I was smart this time LOL No offense to Emcee Kayla Just needed to have fun at the old stories expense.).

She WAY miscalculated everything, and she went flying away—way over the Bishie.

Kishiwa, who was just watching all of this in terror, caught the Bishie as he came back down to earth. "You have fun?"

Bishie, in a very scared manner, shook his head.

Kishiwa places Bishie to the ground, only to get struck by a lightning bolt out of nowhere. After it struck, he was all charred up and smoking. He coughed a little black smoke and fell to the ground.

I simply stare horror stricken and I feel the familiar feeling of knuckles against my face, as a Shorty McShortyShort punches me in the face—only able to reach me because she was riding a cloud. If she wasn't on that cloud, she would have been up to lower-middle rib cage.

When I regained consciousness, I was stuck inside of a wall with a fist in my cheek.

"Glargh…." I wasn't able to talk very well, seeing how there was a fist in my jaw, and gallons of blood in my mouth, and my jaws missing. After this girl removes her fist, I see my jaw next to me, grab it, and crack it back into my mouth.

Okay, here is what I heardbased on how much I cared:

"Yell yell yell Makeira yell yell yell yell yell not in another story yell yell last time yell YELL!" Suddenly the short one, whom had long and flowing orange and red hair, with flaming red eyes, "Wait…Where is she!?"

"I'm right here!" A voice from above could be heard, but the little one did not noticed. I felt something move my hair and I pointed up, "She's up there."

"No she's not." The short one said, "She's right there." She pointed behind herself and out came the girl from before.

"Wait…Who shocked Kishiwa then?"

From behind the girl whom was attacking the Bishie, came a taller girl—with long flowing blonde hair and dull pink eyes. "Me!"

"Alright, so this is cool. Who are you people?"

The one in the middle smiled and pointed to herself, "I'm Makeira." She pointed to the one above her, "She's Ashurii." She then pointed to the one below her, "This be Chibi."

"Oh…That explains the height." I quickly retract as she goes to punch me again, and she misses (Think Matrix, but to the side).

"So, how did you get here anyways?"

Their jaws drop as I slowly feel something yet again move my hair again, with a slight pop. I just laugh a little bit and smirk, "I'm glad you now notice how freaking sexy I am." I look down at myself with a smile, doing a brush-off-my-pants motion that somehow suggests how sexy I am. "Ye-e-e-e-ah." Normally this would result in me getting punched or laughed at, but they did not move at all.

"Y-your head….There is something there!" They all point in horror at my hair.

The big one, Ashurii, laughs as she starts walking towards me. "So kawaii! Do want! Must has!"

"What do you mean?" I turn around to run away, leaving Kishiwa and his charred remains there, and I see what she was talking about. In the store window, I saw something. What I saw there was amazing. Terrifying. More amazing. Really weird. Absolutely adorable. A little more amazing, and absolutely mind boggling how they got there. For what I saw there was a pair of white….(END OF CHAPTER! HAHA! SUSPENSE!)


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I believe someone in this room is a disclaimer! Also, the title finishes the sentence from the previous chapter that was such a cliffhanger. Or was it?

The Adventures of Sesu Akashi

Chapter 9 – "Cat Ears"

I started to cry. 'Why was I the one that got the damn cat ears? I'm too cute now! My charisma just shot up like eight billion points! Shouldn't it be Kishiwa? HE'S THE COMIC RELIEF!' I immediately slumped down and began to rock back and forth while I sucked my thumb. I'm assuming my new friends were trying to abuse me because of my amazing charisma, or, they'll be trying to comfort me.

"OH MY GOOOOD!" Ashurii ran over to me and pretty much hug tackled me into the earth. My hair stood on end because her hug was extremely static-y.

"He's. So. Cute." Ashurii said affectionately as she rubbed her face against my new ears

"I wanna hug him." Makeira said walking over to me

Maybe I should run.

"I WILL CONSUME YOUR CUTENESS!" Chibi bellowed. 

Oh yeah. Defiantly run.

I squirmed out of Ashurii's grasp, and quickly began to run, when I heard an unfamiliar voice laughing and say something.

"Hah-ha….Furry…"

I turn around quickly and accidentally smash Ashurii with my forehead, so she crashes into a building.

"Hahaha!" Kishiwa ran over to Ashurii, "Pokeball, go!" He threw a pokeball at her, and easily caught her. "Haha…Caught her in a repeat ball. Tell me how this works."

Makeira pops out of a trashcan next toKishiwa. "Wait. Did you catch an Ashurii before?"

Kishiwa shook his head, "Of course not."

"Oh my god. This man's skill is amazing." Makeira shrieked in fright.

The man who said the 'furry comment' was on the opposite side of the street, licking an ice cream. He had slicked back electric blue hair, and vibrant forest green eyes. I swagger over to him, standing at my full height—which was a little taller than him. "Who you calling a furry!?" I raised my hand and smacked the ice cream out of his hand. I chest bump him and snarl, "Whatchu gonna do?" I could feel my cat ears go flat, like a actual cat's ears go.

"Nice ears that you have there." He reaches into his left sleeve and pulled out another ice cream, then with a lick he repeated "Furry."

I smack the other ice cream out of his hand, and he just pulls out another one out of his other sleeve. I poke that one and it freezes, "Here. Eat that."

At first he just looks at it strangely and tries to lick it, getting his tongue frozen to the ice cream. He then just shoves the entire thing into his mouth and begins to chew it.

My eyebrow raises in slight amazement. "I challenge you to a duel."

"Sesu wait!" Kishiwa looked over in concern.

"WHAT!?"

"You can't fight him."

"Why?" 

"I want to fight him."

"Fine you can—" Before I can even finish telling Kishiwa that he can go screw himself instead of saying that he can fight this stranger, I felt a brush of wind next to me. All I could see was Kishiwa's fist in the stranger's face, and pushing him forward. In fact, they were both going forward, at an incredible speed. When they he was finished, his fist was pinning the stranger into a large building that now had a large dent in it, when I say dent I mean horizontal crater.

"Haha! I win!" Kishiwa dislodges his fist from the man's face, and begins walking back over to me. "That was fun."

All I could do is look in horror as I saw something plummeting towards Kishiwa. And it was extremely large. In fact…It was a billboard. It hit Kishiwa in the head—surprisingly not crushing him. In fact, his entire body went through, but what it did do was cause him to go completely unconscious. He was out like a light.

I facepalm myself and exhale deeply as I ponder why I even decided to team up with him.

I yell out to the challenger "That was a cheap shot so it doesn't count. I'll fight you like a real man and fight with my fists" Makeira popped out of the trash again, "wait didn't Kishie fight with his fists," I promptly tip over the trashcan.

"Stupid talking trashcan."

Makeira climbed out and flew away crying.

I turn around and charge at the attacker. I slam my fist into his face similar to the way Kishie did. But absolutely nothing happened not even a blink or a twitch. I jump away and try to kick him but he simply tightened up his muscles and the kick did nothing at all.

This was depressing nothing I did could would work and I still didn't have to much chakra after my fight with Kishie.

Now a smart person in this situation would say "Hey Sesu why not just go all rage on that mofo" The answer to that is "Hey I don't want to kill another city".

Next idea is use the teleporting fist technique (Need to think of better name). I try it out only to feel like I ran into a brick wall that's 30 feet thick reinforced with solid carbonate. Laced with diamond, and instead of mortar they used Chuck Norris infused duct tape. Point is that it really really hurt. Lets try using my head.

I tried using a teleporting head butt this actually worked and sent him hurtling backwards. Kinda I got like five feet.

I drew Grimwinter and charged (Screw the fists)

From the palm of his hand I saw a glowing green light that started to grow into a long straight pole. I continued my charge hoping to make contact before what ever he had came to full fruitarian.

I leap at him hoping that it would give me enough speed.

It didn't.

He simply finished whatever he was doing and now he had wooden spear and I was going to fly straight into it. I really am not in the mood to be Sesu a la Skewer.

So I stick Grimwinter into the ground in order to now pole-vault flip backwards. At such an angle that I flip between the Furry commenter (while almost losing a good hearty chunk of my man hood. Then when behind him I sprung up off my hands landed on the back of his head and then gator rolled him into the ground.

After getting out of the gator roll completion position, I squirm out of it and catch my breath. Even though this guy was my size when he tightened up he sure was dense.

He rose to his feet slowly. The expression on his face was not one of fear or even anxiousness. The gator roll I just laid on him should have at least given him some respect for me but there was no emotion on his face at all, he was like a freak'n statue in almost everyway.

I charge at him in hope to get close before he could use the extended range of his spear and my shorter blade would be more effective.

While I was charging "the commenter" did a sweet spinning move thing and the chunk of ground he was standing on rose up into the air like a hover platform thing.

He does some motions and more large chunks of rock tear up from the ground and come flying at me.

Being a ninja I just simply cut them into now much smaller chunks of rock. Kind of gravel sized you know.

Turning to face my opponent I notice that he's doing even more signs and I felt a rumbling below me.

Slamming his palm into the platform he yelled "Rampant Roots".

Bursting from the ground came humongous roots. Knowing this would not end well if they hit me and tore me apart. I do a quick 180, cutting the roots that burst around me.

I started to sprint as fast as I could towards the nearest building. As I thought the roots continued to pursue me. Luckily I knew they couldn't penetrate the metal and glass of the building that turned out to be a skyscraper.

I hit the building and instantly start to run up the side. Where most ninjas use focus to climb up walls I used sheer speed and not just a little desperation caused by fear. A little bit of the way up I turn around to see the look on the commenter's face when his root-thing did nothing. Instead I saw the roots where actually weaving their way up the floors and where catching up with me. After a little bit of me died inside I turn back around so I can run faster and I trip on a flagpole rope that was attached to the side of the skyscraper. Tripping I turn it into a roll/flip/front hand spring move. This continued the rest of the way up the skyscraper as I screamed for the lord's mercy upon my soul

I see some how faith came through for me because I regained my balance as I reach the top. I climb the pointy top of all skyscrapers and leap off into a back flip swan dive with my arms outstretched. The roots couldn't follow me through the air.

Then I finally realized something the bishie had never fallen back to earth. This was remedied when I gained a bishie shaped and weighted backpack. With this thought I realized that even a ninja couldn't fall from this height and live.

The bishie yelled into my ear "Are we going to die".

My reply was simply "Maybe"

I start to weave signs as we gradually get closer to the ground. I prayed I had enough chakra and I even had this jutsu.

With a yell I shout "Summoning Jutsu"

With a huge "BOOOF" sound and lots of smoke a colossal white and black thing was below me. I land on it and realize it was extremely soft. It was about half as big as the skyscraper I jumped off and it dwarfed most other buildings in the city What was it?

I go to what I assume was its ear and yell "Oy what the hell are you"

With a deep rumble like the sound of an avalanche it says " I am the 'Great Panda of the Mountain' and if you don't shut the hell up, I'm gonna eat you. I will serve you in battle and pulverize your enemies with ferocity rivaled only by your own rage"

"How do you know about that" I ask

With a grunt and a smirk it replies "You froze a city you were on the news, plus the cops are after you now."

Looking around at it speedy quick like I see it had huge plates of armor and had two wickedly curved blades.

I bellow for it to crush "The commenter".

With the fury of a really pissed off panda bear the Great Panda crashes down upon "the commenter" with its blades.

Right before the blades absolutely bloody-mistify "the commenter" the panda stops.

I hear a deep rumble like an earthquake and realize the panda was purring. I peer over the panda's head, which was a few feet from the ground, and a girl with long brown hair and deep amber eyes is petting the panda under the chin. The panda was smiling to itself and continued to purr.

I bellow to the commenter's savior "Hey…hey you….yeah you…yeah the panda petter… stop it…yeah like now…mmmmhm not in like five minutes now…stop it…stop petting my freakn' panda.

With a shrug the girl does stop and snaps her fingers.

With another "BOOOOF" the so-called "Great Panda" disappears and I fall about fifteen feet to the ground.

"How did you do that" I asked

"Animal empathy" she replied

"Ummmmmmm…Eimi can I finish my fight with Sesu now…please" asked the commenter"

Eimi rolled her eyes and said "Fine just don't die to hard on me" With a peck on the commenter's cheek she ran off.

"Wait woah, if shes amy and this is a city full of my friends and that was Eimi which sounds like Amy and she kissed you then that means your Tyler and that means well that's it." I gasped out (The lack of commas is due to how that's all said in one breath.)

"Yeah and…" he replied.

"Nothing lets finish this" I blurt out as I swing Grimwinter at his head.

He blocked it with his axe, and we were stuck in a lock. Trying to gain control over the other we both try desperately to win. I had the shorter weapon and therefore a better center of gravity. Yet his was larger, heavier, and he was mildly stronger. Both of us knew that if the other one we would defiantly lose.

Then a sharp crack resounded through the city. Both of us loosen up and look and before us is an entire department of police officers. All of them were decked out in helmets, armor, and equipped with serious firepower. Most of all was the huge fat guy in the tank and I mean HUGE the tank probably had trouble supporting him. The one who fired was the chief who stood in the center.

He lowered his pistol but did not holster it, he then said "You are under arrest, you have thirty seconds to comply before we use force"


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: We tried to think of a witty disclaimer that would somehow include "no one in this story belongs to us except the ones who do in fact belong to us" but the lawyers of the sites this is on forbade us.

The Adventure of Sesu Akashi

Chapter 10-"Smooth Criminal"

"WHAT!? WHY AM I GOING TO PRISON?" I yelled at the commanding officer.

"According to Mr. Seto Kaiba you are the one responsible for freezing the next city over," replied the commanding officer. (For the record this guy had a really snooty voice and sounded like a French-man, his handlebar moustache did not help with this assumption either, no offence to the French of course) "The others are under arrest for aiding a wanted felon."

"Wait I'm in the middle of fighting this guy how could I be considered aiding him," Tyler (from now on Taira) asked.

"Umm…errr well in that case you can go free," the officer said.

"What are you talking about Taira, we're like best friends" I push his spear aside and put my arm around his shoulder. "Come on don't lie to the man."

I whispered in his ear, with Grimwinter's tip up against the small of his back, "No way are you getting out of this without me."

Kishie got up from the rubble slowly, and looked over at Taira and I. "…What's going on guys? Weren't you two fighting?" He looks over at the police and he runs over to Taira. "Hey, dude…Can you uhh…" He pulled a bag with some green herbs in it out of his pocket, "Can you hold onto this bag for me?" He gave a goofy smile and then looked over at the police again. "Y'know what….SCREW IT RUUUUUUUUN!" and he began running off.

I grab Taira by the back of the collar, and book it as fast as I could away from the cops, and Kishie (Whom was in front of us in the beginning) was lagging behind.

"Damn my slow computer connection! IT'S MAKING ME LAG!" yelled Kishie.

"No, you're just slow!" I yelled in return.

And then all of us were running, so then the police got into their cars, and the fattest of all fatty fat-fats got into this giant freaking tank (I think it was the German Gustuv, and even that was small for him).

Kishie began yelling to me, "WE NEED TO GET FAST---WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET A BIKE!?"

I was pedaling as fast as I could in a tricycle that I recently stole from a very small child (It was a Big Wheel), now dragging Taira on the ground, but he didn't seem to mind.

"OW! MY FACE!" Taira yelled. See, doesn't mind at all.

"YOU'RE FLYING IN THE AIR!" Kishie yelled from behind me. I was going so fast, that somehow the front wheel gripped the air and began to pull me upwards.

The guy in the tank (who decided to run over some of his buddies to get in the front), was now catching up. Kishie jumped onto my back, "GO GO GO!"

I laugh a little bit and whisper a plan to Kishie, and he laughs as well. "Good idea mofo!"

He raises his hand, and what looked a lot like a Mario Fireball appeared in his hand, and he threw it right in front of the tank. "A dash of hot!" The tar below the Gustav melted instantly and the tank began sinking.

I, raise my hand and do the same thing, but with ice. I threw it over where Kishie melted it, and the tar re-hardened (actually froze) and he was stuck there. "A DASH OF COLD! WOOHOO!"

And then everything seemed to slow down, like when there is a car accident. Except, this was a big wheel accident. I, Kishie, and Taira fell off of the big wheel onto the ground, and there was this ominous figure standing in front of us.

"Freeze!" the figure said with a Desert Eagle .44 up against my head. Not going to lie, this made me panic. The figure was wearing pretty much a police uniform, opted to look like a trench coat.

"Out of our way! Can't you see we're running from the cops!" Kishie said as he stood up and just punched the cop in the face, causing him to go flying very far away. I think he said something about blasting off, but, he defiantly wasn't from Pokemon so I was like whatever. "Hey look!" Kishie reached down and picked up a set of keys that the police officer had dropped. He pressed the alarm button and a car not to far away beeped.

Kishie ran over to the car and unlocked the driver's seat. "I'll drive."

Taira walks up to the backseat, looking all cool and making me jealous that I can't be that cool when I walk.

I ran over, growling that I couldn't be as cool as Taira. I open the driver's seat door, "NO! BAD KISHIE!" I lifted my leg and kicked him hard enough so that he went into the passenger seat. "Me driving." I sat down into the car and then stayed still.

"Are you gonna—" Kishie began to ask.

"Shut up! I know what I'm doing." I grumbled to myself. I looked over to them both, "How do you turn this thing on?"

"Here." Kishie began to reach over towards the key. When he grabbed it, I grabbed his wrist and quickly broke it. "Bad Kishie." Luckily for me, I actually made him start the car whilst injuring him. "Okay. Cool. Now what do I do…. Oh yeah! Gas!" I literally put the pedal to the metal, and push the gas pedal farther than it's supposed to go. "WHY AREN'T WE MOVING!?"

Kishie looks down at his wrist and whimpers, then looks over to Taira. Taira scoffs and quickly puts the car into drive, causing us to peel out and zoom forward at upwards of 160 mph.

"YAAAARGH!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, then looked out the window. There was a guy in a black trench coat, with really cool sunglasses on, cruising along right next to us. Without a car. "What!? That guy thinks he's so cool. I'll show him." I let go of the steering wheel (hearing people panicking behind me, and ignoring it) and jumped out of the window, now running beside this man.

Kishie quickly jumped into driver's side seat and began driving, trying to chase us as the trench coat guy and I ran, failing miserably.

"Hey! Who do you think you are, running all up in my business!" I yelled at him.

"I am the One." He said back in an 'Oh-look-at-me-I'm-so-damn-important' way.

I ran so that I was ahead of him and laughed maniacally, "Who's 'the One' now, bitch!?"

He started to go kinda warp speed, as in things were getting kicked up behind him. Not just dirt, things that usually didn't get kicked up. Like trash cans, and cars, and the roads, and nearby children, and buildings.

So I had to do one better. I began running so fast that physics actually began warping behind me. I looked behind me at this 'the One'. "HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!"

He smirked, "You're good…You're very good."

Then, out of nowhere another guy that was wearing sunglasses but this one was wearing a black suit, tackled 'the One'. He was yelling, "AGENT SMIIIITH!" As he brought him to the ground and they fought.

"Oooookay." I look ahead, and I see Kishie still trying to catch up. Damn he's slow. Damn speed limit. For the Indy 500. I stood forward, and Kishie was still driving as fast as he could. He turned around, and made it look like I was gripping a steering wheel, and sitting down. As Kishie was driving into me, I went through the windshield (without breaking it) and was now sitting on Kishie. "Move bitch."

Kishie began crawling into the passenger's side, mumbling something about, "How the hell did he do that?". Obviously, he didn't know I was breaking physics.

"Wait a second." Taira spoke. "When did this become a sports car!?"

"Physics broke. I do what I want." I said.

Kishie looked at the hood of the car and then turned to me. "Why did you make it red?"

"Da' red onez go fastuh. 'Cept in ur case." I said back.

Kishie sniffled and then looked in the rear view mirrors. "Hey, they caught up again somehow…How are we going to escape?"

I raise my finger and pointed forward, where there was a cliff.

"Oh, so you're going to turn at the last second so they hurtle off the cliff?" Both the others ask.

I respond, "Sorta," and reach into my backpack. I pull out a mix tape and then flail my hand, "Ow Hippie. You burnt my hand."

A "Sorreh" came from the backpack and then I held this tape in front of me.

"What the hell is that? Is that a mix tape? Who the hell uses mix tapes anymore? Where the hell did you even get that!?" Kishie yelled.

"Shut up. Breaking physics." I put the mix disk in, and the first song rang out. Go by Flow.

"Why do you have this song?" Kishie asked.

"It fits the mood. And besides. It allows us to be in this section of fanfics." I said back.

As we got dangerously close to the edge, Kishie looked over to me, "So, you gonna turn yet?"

I responded with a quick, "No."

"When you gonna turn?"

"Not yet. Some point."

"Ok. Hey. Y'know that cliffs getting really close."

"And?"

"You gonna turn now?"

"Oh yeah. About that turn thing." I revved the engine. "I lied."

The car then jumped off of the cliff and you could hear the police cruisers skidding to a halt, and some fell over the edge.

Then, a challenger approached while we were still in midair. A Bangladeshi Airforce Attack Helicopter.

Then, the moment we hit the ground and began driving on asphalt again, it let loose a spray of bullets from one of the many mini-guns mounted to it.

I began zigzagging to avoid it, and my plan was completely successful.

I glare over at Kishie, "Reach into the glove compartment."

Kishie looked back, "Why? There's nothing in there." He scoffed and opened it and reached inside, pulling out a Colt .44 Magnum Revolver. "What the hell?"

I grab it and turn the vehicle hard enough so that it turns and was now facing the helicopter. I lean out of the driver's side window and began shooting, and was actually pretty accurate. I hit him three times, twice in the chest and once in the arm, but this mofo was crazy. He STILL piloted the helicopter, albeit a little wobbly, but good none-the-less. Now he was yelling (I could tell. I broke the glass.)

There were a lot more cops around us now. Man, these guys reproduce like bunnies. (BUNNIES! YAY!)

I quickly turned back around (Physics breaking still) and looked ahead of me. I could see a fork in the road that had a slim alleyway in the middle (So it was more like a trident in the road).

Kishie looked at the two ways, "Left or right? Left or right!? LEFT OR RIGHT!?"

"Forward." I said. The track now clicked over. It was Sabotage by the Beastie Boyz.

"Not again."

"LEAN TO THE RIGHT!" I yelled and all three people in the car leaned to the right, and then I heard noise in the trunk.

The middle of the back seat kicked open and out climbed BISHIE! (BISHIE! YAY!)

His hair poofed up and he grumbled as he sat next to Taira, leaning to the right like everyone else.

As we began to reach the alleyway, the car went on it's side two wheels and we began driving along the two buildings, sideways on the wall.

On the other side, the cops came out, all laughing simultaneously. (CREEPY! YAY!) "We have you now!"

"I ain't dead yet!" I yelled, turned so I was now going a little bit upwards (enough to clear the cops) and I pushed the pedal down even harder. We drove out of the alleyway (still sideways) and over the cops. As we flew through the air (Kishie was yelling, Bishie was clinging to Taira, and Taira was just…sitting there as if this wasn't even going on.), we landed. Into another alleyway. Onto the side of the building so it was like we never left, except now all the cops were behind us. Except for the guy in the helicopter. He was now in front of us.

"Clever flanking move." I said to myself.

"Great! You got any other brilliant ideas!?" Kishie said, panicking.

"You ain't seen nothing yet." I looked over to him, now with a pair of Aviators on my face.

"Where did you get those glasses?"

"Y'know that thing called physics? Stiiiiiiiiiiiiill breaking."

I smirked and turned left, so now we were scaling the building's side. We drove so hard that we actually became airborne once we left the building. Now we were flying in the air, and as we came down, our tail landed on the edge of the building, swaying side to side.

The pilot shot a bullet at us and we tilted forward, fell onto the rooftop, and we began driving on the rooftops (which were all in a convenient stair formation (CONVENIENT! YAY!) )

"Reach into the glove compartment." I said to Kishie.

Kishie grumbled, "I already reached in. It was empty besides that." He opened it again and grabbed something, pulling it out and it was an attaché case.

"Gimme!" I take the attaché case (now driving with my toe) and open it.

"Do you want me to drive?" Kishie asked.

"NO! STFU NOOB!" I yelled back even though he was inches away.

I start taking things out and clipping them together (at least that's what it looked like from Kishie's angle.)

(BTW: The pilot is shooting rockets AND bullets AND rockets shooting bullets at us now.)

I punch through the sunroof (it's faster than opening it), and hold up the now assembled M79 Grenade Launcher. We are now reaching the end of the buildings. As we fall off the edge of the building, I shoot at the helicopter, right through the broken window, and into the pilot's face. But. Right as it's about to hit his face, little metal spider legs flick out and attach itself to his face. He yells out a war cry, trying to be some type of win or epic. Then. The spider legged thing opens up and puts a regular frag grenade onto his lap. "Oh noez!" He yells, and then explodes. The track clicks over. It was now playing Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm.

We land onto the road again, and the cops are chasing us. Again. (AGAIN! BOO!)

"RE-GIMME WHAT'S IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT!" I yelled

"THERE'S NOTHING…Oh nevermind." Kishie said as he reluctantly did it. "What the hell…IS THIS A FATMAN!?" He slides it up to me, and I take hold, popping it out of the sunroof again.

I laugh, and shot directly at them, watching them ALL explode in a radioactive BOOM! (DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! YAY!)

We're now driving in a casually quick pace, and then we see something ahead. It's a huge 'plumber's smile'. But how?

The big fat guy on the Gustav turns the turret completely around and looks directly at us.

By now I had taken out a Sharpie and was doing complex math equations all over the car and people in the car.

"Hey!" Kishie yelled at me. "You didn't even do math on me! You just gave me a mustache and drew a penis on my forehead!"

I snickered and smirked, looking down on my stomach as I finished the equation. "Ohhh…We're behind him. Wait. Did I JUST DIVIDE BY ZERO!? Oh yeah. Physics breaking. Forgot."

"Hand me what's in the glove—"

Kishie groaned and I stop him, "Hah, just kidding….But seriously…Just kidding."

I do another quick chakra snowball and I throw it on the ground, and somehow it forms a ramp. "Alright, we'll just saw him in half. With our car. Somehow."

"Wait, why don't we just turn around?" Taira asks.

"QUIT BEING BORING!" I punch Taira in the face. And hurt my hand.

The big fatty mcfatfat in the tank shoots a giant explosive round towards us, missing by centimeters, and exploding behind us and causing us to go faster. He laughs like Jabba the Hutt.

We jump off the ramp, and we hit the fat guy square in the stomach. And we stop moving.

"What the…?" Kishie said.

We look through the sunroof and we see his big snausage fingers grabbing the back of the car. "ME TAKE BACK TO KAIBA!" He was now holding us into his stomach.

I look over at everyone, "Alright. Here's what we do. On the count of three. We make a break for it."

The Bishie finally spoke up. "I learned one thing from the pharaoh." He shot his hand forward, out of the sunroof. We all knew what he was doing. But we couldn't stop him. Because we were way too afraid.

The Bishie just got a serious look on his face, and the fat guy was now looking down at him. He began to open and close his hand as he said this. "Mindcrushmindcrushmindcrushmindcrushmindcrush."

The fatty got a blank look on his face, then grabbed his head with both hands, "BAAAAAWW!"

I smile, "Thank god. We're safe."

Kishie looked over at me, "But he let go of the car. Shouldn't there be some kind of elastic effect?"

"No silly. Physics am breaking." I laugh and the look out, and see that we are now flying through the air in this little sports car. "DAMN IT! IT FIXED ITSELF!" I looked at my stomach. The part where I divided by zero was gone. "NOOOOOOO!!"


End file.
